“Ball eight!”

Wasn’t that how fictional play-by-play man, Harry Doyle, described Ricky Vaughn’s pitching debut in the baseball classic comedy, Major League?

Vaughn went on to throw 12 straight balls before things really got interesting. As for your 2024 Pittsburgh Pirates? They’re now up to nine-straight losses after a 3-0 defeat at the hands of the San Diego Padres at Petco Park on Tuesday night. It was the second-straight loss in the three-game series and fifth-straight defeat to San Diego since last week.

If this all sounds familiar to you–the whole collapsing thing, I mean–it’s because the 2011 Buccos, who were looking pretty darn good around the trade deadline, complete with a 54-50 record, lost nine-straight games to throw away any chance that season would be their year to get over the hump and finally finish above.500 and/or clinch a spot in the playoffs. At the deadline, Pittsburgh acquired veteran slugger and 2003 World Series hero, Derek Lee, and while he actually made his presence known positively upon his arrival, his arrival coincided with said extended losing streak. The Pirates went on to win just 18 of their final 58 games and finished with a 72-90 record.

It got better the following year with the offseason acquisition of pitcher A.J. Burnett. Burnett brought a new attitude to the clubhouse and the town. The 2012 Pirates would no longer be doormats. They would no longer be fodder for the rest of Major League Baseball.

At least over the first 130 games. That’s right, the 2012 Pirates got off to a 70-60 start and even had a four-game lead in the National League Wildcard standings. But that all changed thanks to Epic Collapse II: Back to Obscurity. 

Pittsburgh dropped 22 of its final 33 games and not only missed the playoffs but finished with a losing record (79-83) for the 20th consecutive season.

It’s hard to say right now what edition these 2024 Pirates are closer to resembling. Are they the 2011 version that still had one more hard lesson to learn the next season or are they the 2012 version? Is Isiah Kiner-Falefa Derek Lee, meaning, he and his $7.5 million salary will be gone next year? (For the record, I believe Lee was a rental in 2011 but had no desire to return to Pittsburgh.) Is Bryan De La Cruz Lee sans the actual production? (De La Cruz has been so awful, I don’t think any Pirates fan would care if he and his years of control before free agency were shipped out to sea before the Bucs return home from San Diego.)

Obviously, Kiner-Falefa and De La Cruz were considered huge acquisitions at the July 30 trade deadline, a time that now seems like a lifetime ago. The Pirates were 54-52 on the afternoon of the deadline and defeated the Astros by a score of 6-2 later that night. It was the second-straight win in Houston.

But just went it looked like the Pirates would sweep the Astros, fate reared its ugly head in the form of multiple errors by shortstop Oneil Cruz that turned a 4-0 lead into a 5-4 defeat.

The Pirates have literally won one game since that night. They are now 56-63 and in last place in the National League Central Division. They are 11 games behind the first-place Brewers and seven out of the final wildcard spot.

The Pirates currently have a better chance of drafting in the top 10 than playing in the postseason.

I can’t say I’m surprised. After all, I’m a Pirates fan. We’re used to this kind of thing around here.

In 2012, amid Pittsburgh’s second-consecutive end-of-season meltdown, Burnett made headlines by striking out a Dodgers batter and then telling him to “Sit the bleep down!” It was a rare win for the Pirates during that time, but it did little to spur the troops to a long winning streak (although, I believe they sold a bunch of t-shirts in the Strip District).

Some might say Paul Skenes, the rookie pitching phenom, is this era’s version of Burnett. He might be young, but the talent is obvious, and the perception of the Pirates has changed a bit with him around.

But things haven’t changed enough, at least not yet.

Maybe the Pirates will salvage the final game of the Padres series on Wednesday afternoon.

As for the rest of the season? There’s nothing left to salvage.

To echo the sentiments of our dear friend, A.J.: If there’s one thing Pirates fans are used to doing this time of year, it’s sitting the bleep down and waiting for next year.