I drive for work, and I have weird hours, which means I miss many things on television.

Fortunately, as it pertains to watching the Steelers, my days off are Sunday, Monday and Thursday; that means I get to watch all of their regular-season games (even though TNF is horrible). However, I do not get to witness much preseason action.

Take Week 1’s preseason game, for example. As the Steelers were taking on the Texans at Acrisure Stadium on the evening of Friday, August 9, I was in my work vehicle, driving to Carmichaels, Pa. Carmichaels is at least an hour from my office, so you can do the math.

Next week, the Steelers will visit Detroit to take on the Lions in the final preseason game with kickoff set for Saturday afternoon at 1 p.m. EST.

That’s right in the middle of my workday.

Therefore, the second preseason game vs. the Bills at Acrisure Stadium this past Saturday night–better known as a “dress rehearsal”–was going to be my one chance to see some 2024 exhibition action involving the Pittsburgh Steelers. Kickoff was set for 7 p.m. EST, and while I don’t always make it home from work by that time on Saturday, I do quite often. The way things were going, I was on schedule to make it through my apartment door right at seven.

Unfortunately, I ran into some trouble while on my way to my last work stop in Murraysville, Pa. I was either on Logan’s Ferry Road (maybe you’ve heard of it) or about to turn on it when I hit some congestion in the form of a police officer who had used his own work vehicle to block the road. He was standing there in front of his vehicle with his lights flashing, which indicated to the oncoming drivers that we had to go some other way. He wasn’t acknowledging us or anything, we just had to figure things out for ourselves (you know how that goes). I tried to go some other way multiple times but kept finding myself back in the same spot (blasted GPS). I eventually figured out a different route, but I was 20 minutes late getting to my last work stop.

In any event, instead of making it home by 7 p.m., I made it back to my office a little after 7 p.m. This meant I wouldn’t get home until around 7:30. But first I had to hit the local Giant Eagle for some dinner. I went with the boneless BBQ wings from the prepared foods section (some might call them nuggets, and it’s hard to argue that).

My goal at that point was to arrive home in time to see Russell Wilson make some throws as the Steelers quarterback before exiting for the night. Russell Wilson is the Steelers’ new quarterback. I mean, I still couldn’t believe it as I raced to my living room and turned on my TV.

Anyway, I saw him throw a pass or two. I wasn’t all that impressed. Then again, when was the last time I was impressed with a Steelers preseason game? Even if I am impressed, someone says, “Whoa, pump the brakes! It’s only preseason.” And then if I’m impressed with Week 1 of the regular season, someone is like, “Whoa, let’s pump the brakes. It’s only Week 1 of the regular season. Let’s win a playoff game, and then we can talk.”

Wilson looked mid. Justin Fields, his replacement, looked like I expected Justin Fields to look in a game–preseason or regular season. Don’t get me wrong, he did enough good things to keep the debate going about whether or not he should be the starting quarterback in Week 1 of the regular season, but the bar was set pretty damn low in the short time that Wilson was in there. The offense has had a low bar to clear since like 2019, and if the first two exhibition games were any indication, that bar will once again not be cleared much in 2024.

Maybe I’m overreacting. After all, none of the stars played on defense–including T.J. Watt, Cam Heyward and Minkah Fitzpatrick. And even if they did play, they wouldn’t have gone up against Josh Allen, who suited up for Buffalo but didn’t play (I guess because he’s Josh Allen, plus it was raining).

In other words, if Saturday’s game was a dress rehearsal, it was a dress rehearsal for the understudies.

At least Mitch Trubisky played quarterback for the Bills and didn’t look much better than he did in Pittsburgh (thank goodness).

I would get into some stats from Saturday’s game, but the final score was 9-3 so that pretty much speaks for itself.

Why do I do this to myself every August? I look forward to watching the Steelers play exhibition football, only to be bored out of my mind by the second quarter.

Also, am I right or wrong for overreacting to how bad the offense has looked over two games? Again, I realize it’s preseason, but it’s not like the Killer B’s were standing around on the sidelines of Acrisure Stadium on Saturday night. It’s not like Jerome Bettis and Yancey Thigpen were yucking it up at old Three Rivers. Terry Bradshaw wasn’t talking to John Stallworth while wearing a cowboy hat and spitting tobacco.

We knew what those offensive weapons could do because they were actual weapons that had done things in the regular season (and in some cases, the Super Bowl).

As for the 2024 version? We just don’t know.

At any rate, I mostly used Saturday’s preseason action to work out my regular-season material on Twitter (currently known as X).

Here’s one: “The yards per passing attempt in this #Steelers/#Bills game is all the revenge Kenny Pickett needs.”

This was my favorite: “The NFL dynamic kickoff is like the mandatory office romance disclosure agreement of kickoffs.” I’m not sure I worded that quite right (I’m not in HR), but you get it, don’t you?

Speaking of the new kickoff rule: On television, it looks like the old one did whenever the ref would blow the play dead for one reason or another.

Anyway, why don’t I have more followers on Twitter (currently known as X)? I only have 900. That’s not enough for as clever as I am. I’m certainly more talented than that Dov Kleiman, who has 300,000 followers. You know what’s funny: Gerry Dulac, a local Steelers insider who is very well connected and likely has lunch with Art II on occasion, can Tweet something, and people are like, “Your info is trash, old man!” But Kleiman can Tweet the same thing, and people are like, “Whoa, what a bombshell!” That guy may not even be a real person, and he certainly doesn’t live in Pittsburgh.

What about the local blogger who often goes to training camp and posts stuff like, “Justin Fields was 14 of 19 for 130 yards today in drills involving the defense acting confused and trying to get a 12th man off the field before the snap.” And people are like, “Thanks for your hard work, brother! Fields is him!”

I’m rambling, now, and making it all about me and dissing people like Kendrick does in his new hit song. In fairness, however, the article is about me watching boring Steelers preseason games. Again, why do I do it?

Why does any fan watch preseason action? Speaking of Carmichaels, I believe that was the name of the outside linebacker who played for the Steelers in the fourth quarter. Logan Ferry Road may have been the name of the right tackle by the end of the game. (But I bet he did better than Broderick Jones–yikes!)

Oh well, I’ll forget about this preseason stuff by the regular season. I’ll then begin to miss football again not long after the 2024 campaign ends. By next August, I’ll be yearning for some preseason action.

By the end of that game, I’ll likely be asking myself why I endured something so boring.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

PS,

#FireSmith.