Aren’t new relationships just so fun and exciting? The possibilities are endless. The future is bright.

Understanding.

Cuddling.

Holding hands.

OK, I’m describing new romantic love, but you can take some of the things I wrote above and apply them to the Steelers 2024 draft class. These new players are fun and exciting, aren’t they? For example, how can Payton Wilson not be the steal of the draft? And did you see that Mason McCormick hype video? Was that AC/DC playing in the background? Maybe it was Motley Crue. Either way, it’s going to go over big with the Yinzer crowd that listens to WDVE, the flagship home of your Pittsburgh Steelers.

Also, something tells me this McCormick will be quite the personality on social media.

Right now, the possibilities seem endless with all of these guys–even Ryan Watts, the cornerback from Texas who Pittsburgh drafted in the sixth round. After all, I seem to recall things working out just fine the last time the Steelers drafted a Watt.

The future is bright.

When it comes to the Steelers 2024 draft class, fans are in the “This woman I’m talking to on Bumble is not only cute, but she totally gets me” phase.

Troy Fautanu, the first-round pick from Washington, grew up a Steelers fan and idolized Troy Polamalu. How awesome is that? I remember when guard Kevin Dotson, the fourth-round pick from Louisiana in the 2020 NFL Draft, was kind of like a combination of Fautanu (he grew up a Steelers fan, idolized Jerome Bettis and even owned a Terrible Towel), Wilson (Headline: Why Kevin Dotson Might be the Steal of the Draft), and McCormick (a road grader with an infectious personality).

Despite a promising rookie season, Dotson quickly morphed into a poor scheme fit who reportedly wasn’t committed to doing the work necessary to make himself the best NFL guard he could be. Sure, Dotson is now rich thanks to signing a three-year, $48 million contract with the Rams this offseason, but Steelers fans were so happy last summer when general manager Omar Khan shipped him off to Los Angeles for mid-round draft picks.

People seem to be excited about Roman Wilson, the Michigan receiver who the Steelers selected in the third round of the 2024 NFL Draft, but I remember the love for JuJu Smith-Schuster in 2017.

It took a few years, but Smith-Schuster went from “Aw, he’s riding his bike, isn’t that cute?” to “If he has the time to make TikTok videos, he has the time to win Super Bowls!”

How far has Smith-Schuster, a seemingly fine person despite his off-the-field issues involving bike riding and milk-crate challenges, fallen out of favor with Steelers fans? If Pittsburgh, who needs to upgrade its receiver room, decides to bring the eight-year veteran from USC back in a trade, the only person who will be happy is the kid who invited him to his prom back in 2019. 

And that may even depend on how that kid, now a young man, feels about Smith-Schuster dancing on opposing teams’ logos before games in 2020. 

Remember a couple of summers ago when George Pickens was the sensation of Steelers training camp at Saint Vincent College in Latrobe, Pennsylvania?

I tried to warn you. I was like, “Yo, he’s a receiver, bro. He ain’t your type. He’s “passionate” and “fiery.” I think he might even be a Scorpio.”

Turns out, Pickens is a Pisces, but I don’t think many fans were sending him birthday cards when he turned 23 on March 4. If they did, they probably wrote things in the card like, “Happy birthday! Now grow up. PS, you’re toxic and a locker room cancer. Oh yeah, remember when you didn’t block on that one play? A gift for me would be seeing you get traded for a second-round pick.”

Damn Steelers fans never learn that they just have no chemistry with receivers.

Remember how you currently feel about these new guys and dedicate a lock of your love for them and clasp it on the Clemente Bridge for good luck. We’re just days away from rookie minicamp. After that, it’s OTAs. Before you know it, these rookies will be making headlines at training camp, and you’ll be on Twitter posting a pic of Logan Lee’s No. 74 jersey and saying, “Please, someone stop me. Too late, I already bought it. LOL!”

Finally, I’d like to write a love letter to the Steelers 2024 Draft class:

Dear rookies,

I haven’t felt like this about anyone in a long time–at least a year, anyway. Let’s stay just like this forever.

XOXOXO.