There seem to be a lot of conflicting reports in the Steelersverse these days regarding 49ers receiver Brandon Aiyuk, as well as who the organization may or may not like in the fast-approaching 2024 NFL Draft.

Maybe this is because there is such a thirst for Steelers content. Also, everyone wants to be first with the scoop. Everyone wants to convince you that their source is the most legitimate source in the history of sources.

With the Steelers so coy and vague about their activity and interest level in certain players, this often leads to articles that appear to be based in fact but are really just nothing but speculation.

You’ll click on a headline that reads: “Insider says the Steelers are going to draft a left tackle with the 20th pick,” and then you’ll see that it’s a story from a guy who heard another guy talking on a podcast about what some beat reporter thinks Pittsburgh will do.

I’m not here to give you that. Admittedly, my headline is a bit clickbaity, and that’s because the local expert in question is my dentist. No, he’s no draft expert, but he sure knows his way around teeth. And unlike these other people out there, he’s a direct source who had a thing or two to say about what the Steelers should do in the draft when I visited his office to get some work done recently.  

My visit to Dr. {redacted–a reporter never reveals their sources} started out just like any other. I was sitting there in his chair waiting under those bright fluorescent lights. Hall and Oates was playing on the satellite radio. He walked in, and the first thing he said to me was, “You know who’s a real maneater? Graham Barton, that center from Duke. If I’m the Steelers, that’s who I’m taking in the first round of the draft. They just brought him to town for a visit. That should tell you something.”

I thought it was odd that this was the first thing my dentist said to me before fixing a cavity, but despite my nervousness, I was still taken aback. I asked, “You’d really draft a center in the first round?”

He said, “Sure I would, the dude’s a beast. His athleticism is off the charts, and I know a thing or two about charts. He scored a 92 in athleticism at the NFL Combine this year, which smoked both Jackson Powers-Johnson, the center from Oregon who scored a 79; and Zach Frazier, the center from West Virginia who posted a 75 in that same category.”

“Yeah, but aren’t you concerned about the fact that Barton really hasn’t played center since his freshman year? He spent the majority of his college career at left tackle. In fact, he was a decorated left tackle at Duke and was voted a Second-team All-American in 2023. He was also First-team All-ACC in 2022 and 2023.”

My dentist then said, “Yeah, but he’s projected to play center at the professional level. And with his size–6-5 and 313 pounds–and athleticism, he’d continue the Steelers tradition of employing physically gifted men at that position. I’m talking about Mike Webster, Dermontti Dawson and Maurkice Pouncey, of course.”

My dentist then prepared to numb me up for the procedure I was about to have and said, “Now, think of something nice. ‘Yeah, like not being here,’ amirite?… Oh yeah, I see you have a tear streaming down your cheek. Nothing to be embarrassed about. That’s common when the needle hits a specific nerve.”

I said, “No, doc, I’m actually crying over the thought of the Steelers using a first-round pick on a center. Why do that when they can find someone in the second or third round? Heck, both Powers-Johnson AND Frazier might be there in the second round. Wouldn’t that represent great draft value?”

My dentist said, “I don’t know about Powers-Johnson. I read up on him, and while he did have a fine senior year–he was First-team All-Pac 12, a Unanimous All-American and won the Rimington Trophy awarded annually to the nation’s top center–it was his only season as the full-time starter. Also, what about his injury history–including multiple concussions? That concerns me, and I know a thing or two about pain–I’m a dentist.”

“OK, what about Frazier?”

My dentist said, “Look, don’t you want the best? Why not go for the top guy at the position?”

I said, “I think the Steelers should focus on other needs in the first round, like offensive tackle or cornerback. They have Nate Herbig, and he can play center for at least a few weeks while a rookie–say, Frazier, for example–gets acclimated to life as a professional football player.”

That’s when my dentist got all philosophical on me. He said, “Free agency is a lot like these big insurance companies. They act like they got you covered, but really, they often fail to follow through on what they promised.You usually wind up paying a good amount out of pocket to make up for it. If I’m the Steelers, I’m bypassing the insurance and paying out of pocket to get the very best in the draft.”

I said, “Aren’t you worried about recent history, and the fact that Pittsburgh selected Kendrick Green in the third round of the 2021 NFL Draft? Green was known for his athleticism, and this was partly why the Steelers thought he could make the move from guard to center and thrive. He did not. He was a disaster and had to be replaced by the end of his rookie year.”

My dentist said, “I saw you reading my 2021 NFL Draft Preview magazine out in the lobby earlier. Do you want the Steelers to make the same mistake that they did then when they passed on Landon Dickerson once and Creed Humphrey twice? I’m more comfortable with Barton’s ability to make the permanent move to center than I was with Green’s. Why? Because left tackle is the most difficult position on the offensive line. If he can excel there, he can excel anywhere. Besides, it’s important to have position flexibility. Take me, for example. I can do everything, but I sometimes refer you to an endodontist for particularly difficult root canals.”

“Oh, so you’re saying you can’t really do all root canals. What if Barton can’t excel at all facets of the center position?”

“I’m not saying that at all.”

“So, you do that because you want you and your pal to both benefit from insurance fees?”

“That’s none of your business.”

I said, “I just don’t know about a center in the first round.”

He quickly retorted, “Look, if they pass on Barton, I’m going to be so ANGRY, I’ll smash….”

“What, what are you going to smash? Just calm down. doc. You’re working on my mouth.”

There you have it. I’m not sure if four out of five dentists would agree with the notion of the Steelers taking Graham Barton with the 20th pick in the first round of the 2024 NFL Draft, but I think my expert makes a compelling case.