Are you pumped up about the Steelers’ offseason? That’s a thing? Yes, yes, it’s a thing.

The NFL has gone to great lengths to make its offseason just as engaging as its actual season. Just take the annual Combine in Indianapolis that may or may not still be going–I haven’t checked. I haven’t, but it’s all the rage on my Twitter/X feed. Who ran what and who didn’t run? Who worked out and who did not? I don’t know.

Speaking of Twitter/X, I can’t get enough of those Justin Fields-to-the-Steelers rumors. OK, I have had my fill, but people keep giving me more. Pittsburgh is or is not interested in trading for the fourth-year quarterback from The Ohio State.

It all depends on which Twitter link I click on (okay, I don’t click on any of them, but I see them all on my feed).

What about unrestricted free agency? It’s almost upon us, baby!

After that, it’s the NFL Draft.

After that, it’s the annual schedule reveal, baby!

And what about all of those OTAs and rookie camps? What about minicamp? Who will show up? Who will hold in? Who will get so angry about it?

Diontae Johnson won’t hold in because he will be traded, or maybe he won’t.

It all depends on which link you want to click on.

If you’re picking up what I’m putting down, I just don’t have the energy to click on those links this year.

Why? Maybe because I spent the entire 2023 offseason clicking on those links about how Omar Khan, Pittsburgh’s new general manager, was cooking and eating. He cooked when he signed Patrick Peterson. He ate when he signed Isaac Seumalo. He cooked when he signed Nate Herbig. He ate when he traded for Allen Robinson.

He cooked Cole Holcomb. He ate Elandon Roberts. He cooked Kwon Alexander. He ate Desmond King.

Khan traded Kevin Dotson and Kendrick Green and managed to get actual draft picks in return for both of them.

And what about that 2023 NFL Draft? It was so prosperous. It included Broderick Jones, Joey Porter Jr., Keeanu Benton, Darnell Washington, Nick Herbig, Cory Trice Jr. and Spencer Anderson.

A HAUL!

Anyway, despite all of that cooking and eating by Khan throughout the 2023 offseason, the 2023 regular season was one of the most listless and boring that I’ve seen since before I was old enough to drive.

At least until Mason Rudolph took over at quarterback on the night of Festivus. Rudolph made the Steelers offense look professional. Rudolph led Pittsburgh to the postseason.

That might be a reason to get excited about the Steelers 2024 offseason and all of the cooking and eating Khan is expected to do. Sadly, Rudolph might not even return, and even if he does, he still might lose the starting job to Kenny Pickett. What if Pickett spends the entire offseason cooking and eating? What if Pickett cooks and eats all throughout training camp and the preseason?

Pickett cooked and ate throughout the 2023 offseason, but he may have lost his appetite since he didn’t cook or eat much at all during the regular season.

What if the Steelers really do bring in Fields? Should I be excited? I remember how excited I was about the signing of Mitch Trubisky two years ago.

Yeah, about that…

Maybe the Steelers will sign a veteran center, a la Mason Cole.

What about a good tackle? How about a cornerback?

I did this all of last year, and I don’t think I can do it again this season.

In fact, the Steelers have been quite boring for many seasons. Their on-field performance year in and year out just hasn’t lived up to the level of engagement and coverage they receive daily–especially during the offseason.

What’s that, you want me to look at your latest mock draft?

Nah, I’d rather take a gander at the latest NCAA Tournament bracket projections.

Did you see how dominant Paul Skenes was in his spring training debut with the Pirates?

How about that Caitlin Clark?

Go Steelers?

Not at the moment, no.

They can go and hibernate for a while.