Steeler fans, rejoice. The preseason is over. The second half of the final game against Detroit somehow managed to be so boring that it makes the two week hiatus seem like an E ticket ride at Disneyland. These last three weeks felt longer than the entire offseason.

Before the game, I had an idea on how to wrestle an article out of the exhibition. I was going to track the average times for Wilson and Fields to hold the ball and if the pass play was executed on time or not. Pen and paper in hand, I dutifully tracked the first drive.

Russell Wilson: Under center play action – 2 second release complete for minus 1 yard, on time. Shotgun – 4 second release complete for 31 yards, on time.

Then when the second drive began and…what the…Fields is out there already? I can’t get a particularly good average off of two – count ‘em – two pass attempts. Fine. I’ll start tracking Fields and how long he holds onto the ball.

Justin Fields: Play action roll out – 2 second release after turning to face the play for a 7 yard completion, on time. Shotgun – 2 second release complete for 23 yards, on time. Play action – 3 second release complete for 12 yards, on time. Shotgun – 3 second release incomplete receiver drop, on time. Shotgun – 3 second no release for a sack, definitely not on time.

And then Fields was done. Five pass attempts. I had seven attempts in total to work with to build an entire article. That’s just not enough. For what it’s worth, that’s an average of 3 seconds for Russell Wilson to throw the ball, and an average of 2.6 seconds for Fields – on a sample size smaller than gum commercials use to see if dentists recommend the brand or not. It’s always nine out of ten dentists, by the way. Who is that holdout dentist? I’d wager that it’s whoever Danny Smith uses.

I thought about going back to the Bills game and compare release times from that game, since it would have a much larger sample size…but no…I just can’t…no one deserves being forced to watch that game twice. That leaves me with not much fodder with which to construct an article. What to do, what to do? I guess I could try to list off everything we have learned from this preseason. Which also doesn’t feel like much to go on, but here goes:

Mike Tomlin’s decision to/not to challenge: Everyone has seen those social media posts where someone will put up a picture of an object like a turbo off of a car, and ask “What is it? Wrong answers only.” I think that might be Coach Tomlin’s approach on when and when not to challenge. Someone should tell him that the red flag is not one of those funny internet things. Perhaps he should make his normal decision on a challenge situation, and then always do the exact opposite.

Arthur Smith and keeping secrets: If you have a secret you are dying to tell someone, but absolutely do not want it to get out, don’t tell your friends or significant other. They will sell you out almost immediately. Arthur Smith will not. Through three complete games, no one still has a clue of what this offense will actually look like. This guy has all the information on lockdown. I approve. No need to give the Falcons tape just to make fans happy in the preseason. Please be different in the regular season. I beg of you.

Wide receiver needs: The consensus this offseason was that the team needs a legit second receiver. Based on non-game planned straight up beat the guy in front of you action, they definitely need to add to the room. It doesn’t have to be the bank breaking guy from San Francisco, but if a talented guy becomes available, it’s time to go get him. Teams were rolling coverages over Pickens and no one else on the team could beat their man on a consistent basis. The offensive line is going to struggle in pass blocking to start the season. No matter who is throwing the ball, receivers need to get open quickly.

Nick Herberg: The young linebacker’s play has been so good, it’s time to learn his name and stop calling him Nate. I’m still going to screw it up, but since he gives all out effort on every play, it’s the least we can do. I hope I got it right this time. I blame his parents.

Preseason games: Preseason games are terrible. Even when I thought I was excited to see the Steelers, it was a hard watch as the quarters dragged on. For the other teams, as soon as the starters were pulled, it was impossible to keep my attention. I’m so glad it’s over. I can’t believe there used to be four of these things, and that we didn’t all just take up some other hobby like Origami.

The running theme here at SCN has been don’t overreact to the preseason. It was a hard lesson learned from last year’s false hope. My only reaction this year is that I was impatient for it to be over and the real deal to begin. This season will have more unknowns than Steeler Nation has experienced for years. There could be two or even three new faces on the team by the time these two weeks are up. Whatever happens, I’m here for it, as I know all of you will be as well. Win or lose, the regular season won’t be boring. I hope.