With the Steelers laying an egg in Week 1 against San Fran, there is an alarming array of discontent that quickly emerged for the 2023 Steelers. With a tough task again in the form of a daunting Cleveland Browns coming to tahn, there comes a whole lotta predictions. With that being said, SCN’s resident Nostradumbass is back to do the deed again this week. The following are predictions, some basic, some bold and some absolutely bizarre.

• In an attempt to Jedi Mind Trick the organization, the fans and the entire football world, former Steeler and unwelcome trespasser, Antonio Brown, shows up to the Steelers locker room like nothing ever happened and proceeds to get dressed in full uniform. He is escorted out of the premises before getting his cup in. However, nobody notices former punter Brad Wing hiding in the showers.
• In an improvement from last week, Kenny Pickett is sacked only thrice on the afternoon, twice by Z’Darius Smith and once by Myles Garrett. Garrett leaves the game early after hurting his shoulder on an errant attempt to bash in KP8’s exposed melon with a helmet. No, I’m never letting that one go.
• Big Ken throws for 218 yards and one scoring pass against Cleveland, but still throws two balls nabbed by dudes in the wrong-colored jersey.
• George Pickens catches the lone TD pass from KP8 but only grabs four balls for 48 yards on the night.
• Darnell “Mount” Washington scores his first-ever NFL TD and his second pancake block in consecutive contests. No. 80 celebrates the accomplishment and
• Nobody complains about Matt Canada’s play calling at all in the stadium. Wait, that’s too bold and bizarre for even me.
• Patrick Peterson gets his first interception as a Steeler after the veteran instructs his teammates to not wait until after warmups to decide on the proper cleats to wear.
• Pressley Harvin III rebounds for a solid booting day, but people still call him Percy after three years.
• Najee Harris and Jaylen Warren combine for only 110 yards against a tough defense, but No. 22 gets his first TD of the year as the running game eclipses 10 carries.
• The Steelers get three sacks on the day, Kwon Alexander gets one and T.J. Watt two as he becomes the sole all-time sack leader in history.
• Chris Boswell is a perfect two-for-two with a 48-yard field goal.
• The Steelers defense mostly contains Deshaun Watson but can’t do the same with Nick Chubb. Chubb runs for 125 and two scores as the black and gold fall to 0-2 after the 27-20 win.
• Joey Porter Jr. doubles his snaps to 14, still not enough.
• Steeler Nation loses their mind and not in a good way.
• Mike Tomlin unleashes a new Tomlinism in the post-game presser, but none that are suitable for work or a Kiya t-shirt creation.

Will any of this actually happen? I’ll bet at least one or two. Heck, maybe every one of them. Be sure to post your predictions — basic or bizarre — below.