Sunday’s Steelers Week 15 game vs. the Eagles at Lincoln Financial Field went pretty much as you expected, right?

The Steelers got their doors blown off in a 27-13 loss that wasn’t as close as the score may have indicated.

Pittsburgh managed 10 measly first downs and 163 yards—not just 163 yards through the air or on the ground, but 163 yards in total.

How about the time of possession? Try two to one in favor of them.

It was a total butt-kicking, the kind that we’ve gotten used to seeing the Steelers receive in Philadelphia every eight years or so since Season 6 of My Three Sons. 

The funny thing is, unlike previous bouts in the City of Brotherly Love, the Steelers repeatedly got knocked down but kept getting up. To use a Rocky theme, the head referee should have stopped the fight early. However, Pittsburgh managed to throw a few haymakers and may have actually taken the lead or at least tied the score a time or two during the game.

The first haymaker was a T.J. Watt right cross on the nose of the football that knocked it free of Jalen Hurts’s grasp and onto the turf of Lincoln Financial Field early in the fight. Beanie Bishop recovered at the Eagles’ 45. Did Pittsburgh capitalize? Are you kidding? Their right was no damn good.

But the Steelers did land another haymaker moments later when Mark Robinson hit Cooper DeJean with an uppercut during a punt return, forcing a fumble that he recovered it at the Philadelphia 11.

Did the Steelers score a touchdown after that? Hell no. Maybe they could have, but the officials penalized tight end Darnell Washington for blocking a little too aggressively on a Najee Harris run that would have set up a second and three from the Philly four. The officials also accused Washington of punching himself in the face a few times. Oh yeah, and they threw a flag on little Calvin Austin for looking threatening and menacing.

Anyway, the Steelers had to settle for a field goal. From that point on, they seemed to do something similar to what Rocky did in the second fight against Clubber Lang at the end of Rocky III: They just let the Eagles continue to punch them in the face while saying things like, “Ain’t so bad!” Ain’t so bad!”

That looked like it was working, too, especially midway through the third quarter when Pittsburgh only trailed by a score of 20-13 and had a first and 10 from the Philadelphia 26. Unfortunately, Harris fumbled while failing to secure the toss portion of a toss sweep, and the Eagles recovered it. (Harris probably didn’t take a dive, but it would be funny to hear a reporter accuse him of that.)

From there, the Eagles continued to pound away at the Steelers’ face, body, everything, and there was little they could do about it until they rang that damn bell.

As far as losses in Philadelphia go, Sunday’s wasn’t necessarily that bad. I guess you should be alarmed at how physically dominant the Eagles were on both sides of the ball. Also, Watt left the game late with a foot injury, so there’s that to worry about.

But what would have happened if the two personal foul penalties on the Steelers early in the game were actually off-setting? What if Harris didn’t take a dive on that toss sweep in the third quarter?

Pittsburgh may have found a way to win a close game, and we’d barely be talking about the physical mismatch. Why? Because the Steelers would have won by using a now familiar script: Keep it close. Keep it ugly. Force a turnover or two. Win it at the end.

The best news to come out of Sunday’s loss was that the Steelers clinched a postseason spot. With that out of the way, they can concentrate on other things over the final three weeks. For example, a win in Baltimore on Saturday will secure the Steelers’ first AFC North title since 2020.

No, the Steelers didn’t win on Sunday. The Steelers often didn’t look like they belonged on the same field as the Eagles (and maybe even in the same city). But they hung around much longer than they should have and even managed to clinch a playoff spot.

Also, let’s not forget that Sunday’s game took place without the services of George Pickens, Larry Ogunjobi and DeShon Elliott.

All things considered, it was the best Steelers performance I’ve ever seen in Philadelphia.

That’s not saying much, but it’s all relative.