So I was at the Mall at Robinson in Robinson Township (a suburb of Pittsburgh) on Thursday afternoon, enjoying some Auntie Annie’s soft pretzels and scrolling through my Twitter feed for some reason.

You might think partaking in the former is more expensive and detrimental to one’s health, but there’s no doubt it’s the latter. But while debating sports is just as toxic and scary as talking about any other topic on Twitter (currently known as X), at least you can openly do so without fear for your life. (OK, you still fear for your life but offend fewer people.)

Anyway, I was periodically checking the score of the Pirates game. After all, it was Paul Skenes Day as Pittsburgh took on the Brewers in the rubber match of a three-game series at Great American Field in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. (I believe every mayor is mandated to declare such a day whenever Skenes pitches–even if it’s on the road.)

I immediately discovered that the game was scoreless, and I was not surprised. For one thing, Skenes was pitching against the other team. For another thing, someone else was pitching against the Pirates. Not only was the game scoreless, but Skenes was predictably mowing down Brewers batters quicker than I was devouring Auntie Annie’s pretzel nuggets dipped in marinara sauce. I could see that Skenes had held Milwaukee hitless through four innings, then five, then six.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t intrigued by the possibility of Skenes no-hitting the Brewers in his last start before the All-Star Game. However, while I was intrigued, I wasn’t expecting him to be allowed to do so. Why? Pitch-count > the desire to see a no-hitter. That’s just how baseball is now, especially with young pitchers. Not only is Skenes young, but he’s so important to the Pirates’ future that the thought of losing him for a year due to Tommy John surgery, well, would any Bucco fan be surprised if that happens at some point over the next few seasons? (Knock on wood.)

I left the mall after the sixth inning and soon got a phone call from my brother as I was driving home. I knew what he was calling about before I even answered. He wanted to inform me that Skenes was pitching a no-hitter, baby!

I told him he wouldn’t be allowed to finish the game. My brother acted like I was talking about some wild conspiracy theory about the earth being flat. He was also outraged when he called me again to inform me that Skenes was taken out after the seventh hitless inning. In addition to being outraged over Skenes being yanked six outs from a no-hitter, my bro was mad that Colin Holderman immediately gave up a single in the bottom of the eighth inning. “There goes the combined no-hitter,” he said with much frustration.

A combined no-hitter? Who cares? Unless a starter going at least nine innings is part of a combined no-no (Fransisco Cordova did just that during the Pirates’ combined 10-inning no-hitter in 1997), I’m not impressed.

In his defense, my brother was more angry about Skenes not being allowed to finish the no-hitter than he was about the Pirates relievers’ failure to complete a combined one. While I understood his anger, I don’t get why he was shocked.

The same goes for a lot of Pirates fans and media members. Have they been paying attention to baseball over the past decade or so? To reiterate, a no-hitter isn’t cool anymore. OK, maybe it’s still cool, but its coolness usually doesn’t stand a chance against the caution managers now show as it pertains to a pitcher’s precious arm.

In addition to being toxic and scary, sports fans are also very entitled and self-involved. They act like the thing that just happened was the first time it ever happened. Maybe that’s why Pirates fans were ready to dox manager Derek Shelton for pulling Skenes after seven hitless innings and 99 pitches. However, if you click on this link, you’ll see that of the 20 combined no-hitters in MLB history, nine of them have occurred since 2018.

That should tell you all you need to know. If you were aware of that stat, you may not have been as outraged over Shelton’s decision at Great American Field on Thursday afternoon. (Pittsburgh actually won the game, btw.)

The way pitchers are handled these days, cheering for a no-hitter after seven innings is like celebrating the second your favorite football team gets a big stop on third down–don’t get too excited until you’re sure there isn’t any yellow laundry on the field.

In other words, baseball fans are better off keeping a lid on their excitement until the pitcher walks off the mound after getting his 24th out. If his manager has the balls to pull him with three outs to get, you can go to town with the rage. Hell, I’ll help you find his address.

For his part, Skenes didn’t seem all that upset about losing his chance at a no-hitter. MLB has taken the fun out of so many things that used to be celebrated, including no-hitters–I’ll be writing an article about that in the future–I’m not sure he even appreciated the significance of what he almost accomplished.

Someone Skenes’s age (22) may look at no-hitters the same way a young Penn State football fan views the Pitt Panthers: “What are those?”

The bottom line is this: Paul Skenes is so dominant and talented that throwing six hitless innings will likely become the norm.

So will yanking him from the game before he’s allowed to finish the job.

You might as well get used to it.