HOW BOUT THEM COWBOYS?!?! This is a phrase that football fans across the country have been HOWLING ever since Jerry Jones made his decision on who will be the head coach of his team. After five seasons of Mike McCarthy, who posted a 49-35 (.583) record during his time in Dallas, it looks like the Cowboys’ owner is going with a rather “out of the box” name to replace him.

That name…

Cowboys are hiring offensive coordinator Brian Schottenheimer as their new head coach, Jerrry Jones tells ESPN.

“Brian Schottenheimer is known as a career assistant,” Jones said. “He ain’t Brian no more. He is now known as the head coach of the Dallas Cowboys.” pic.twitter.com/JtGoltP1mC

— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) January 25, 2025

Brian Schottenheimer, as “lovingly” said by Jerry in the quote above, has been a “career assistant” during his time in the NFL. He has been the offensive coordinator for four teams throughout his 14 year career, which included the New York Jets, St. Louis Rams, and even the Seattle Seahawks.

He is the living embodiment of “being a bridesmaid, but never a bride.” With ZERO years of head coaching experience under his belt, the Cowboys will be handing him the keys for the first time in his long career. The son of the great Marty Schottenheimer will have the reigns of a team that consists of Dak Prescott and Ceedee Lamb, in an attempt to “keep continuity” within the team.

This is a wild, yet predictable move, after the saga that lead to their split with McCarthy a few weeks back. With all of the time Jerry wasted waiting/dealing with McCarthy’s contract and whatnot, they could’ve been trying to interview the likes of Ben Johnson and Aaron Glenn. They could’ve been securing talks with some of the top coaching candidates in the league, who would be more “well-received” by the fans than Brian Schottenheimer.

The Cowboys could’ve done literally ANYTHING ELSE to put this team in a position to win, but they didn’t. HELL; even if they brought back Mike McCarthy, they would’ve been in a better spot than they are in right now. I mean seriously; records talk, and his three straight years with 12 wins are SCREAMING right now.

It’s just a wild situation to be in, but it’s something that’s become a regular thing with “Jerry’s Merry Band of Misfits.” They put teams together, they have a couple of good years, but in the end……they just fumble the bag like they always do.

Here’s hoping for the best for good ol’ Schotty. I hate Dallas with a burning passion, but the guy has been put in a rough spot. But as always, what do I know? I’m just a guy from the Midwest, with a beer and a laptop, trying to make sense of this world.